finally, i got some sleep after so long...3 days/ 4 days?
i dint go for the training. =X
was raining when i woke up, so felt lazy and tired to go to school.
no appetite, so just drank soya bean.
eyes felt uncomfortable. zzz got headache and my stomach is messing with me AGAIN!
hate that. went to toilet for 5 times!! in 2 hrs!!
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
pathetic me. =((
heart. my empty heart. has once again had another locked.
initially, i thought it was unlocked.
but now, for defense...it got another locked locking my heart.
what can i do to stand up?
there are people who wont hurt me?
i want to believe that, i really want.
but i no longer want fantasy.
fantasy just hurts when it comes back to reality.
it only satisfies what u cant do, what u dont have in reality. just like dreams, wishes.
friends? what are they exactly?
never expect things to end up this way.
the feeling is like you bought something that u had been dreaming about, but after u bought it, it spoils.
if you were in my shoes, what would u feel?
dint like my life in my sec sch. and now, my poly life. i dont want to mess it up.
friends are everything to me.
and yet, i got disappointed with things that happened.
people say, not everything goes my way.
and i asked myself. then what things goes my way?
did anything goes my way?
i thought my happiness is there, but i found out its all fake, short term happiness.
"kong huan xi yi chang"
i lost trust, i lost hope, i lost myself.
stuck in this space.
people wants me to stand up, but im afraid....
really afraid....im shivering with fear, trembling with fear, insecure
i will be hurt once i stand up again.
if i knew that i would be hurt again, i chose not to stand up.
im stupid, i dont know how to differentiate lies from truth anymore.
i dont know if people are saying the truth or just telling me lies.
asking me to trust them when they are telling lies.
they never knew that they would hurt me this deep.
this pain. i guess i would never forget. ever. and never subsidised.
guess u all would still be happy even things like this happen to me.
i dont know how to trust u all once again, let alone face u all once again.
