sunday. going back school tmr. but my arms and thighs are aching so much that i really dont wish to move them.
its such a sad case lar. saturday got training, went running around the carpark near the hostel, then we went back to refill our 1.5 litre bottle and we did stunt! we hold it with our arms for 2 mins for 3 sets!! well not exactly 2 mins. cause i did put down for my arm to rest for awhile before continuing it. then after holding the bottle, we did twinkle twinkle little star. for dont know how many hundred times. weee.! then we did push ups, sit ups. gosh. then we went to the stairs there.! knew it! we going to climb stairs which i hate the most.!! then right after the stairs we did the Quack style! its freaking breaking my knees and legs.!! and we went jogging once again.! for a long distance jog. its shiok!! cause the pace is slow. lolx.! and there we ends our training.
then after training went back to sleep. felt tired. maybe im going to fall sick or what. then i called my mum to tell her i not going to bedok. but she hor. die die also want me go bedok lar. sianz. then at night somemore ask dad come fetch me. then i have to go back woodlands today. stupid lar. haix.
then this morning wake up whole body ache. sian loe. then watch vcd until 7 plus then take bus to woodlands. what a boring day.
friday. last day of school for the week. wee!! today's module is science. Genetics once again. >.< once again about DNA,A,T,C,P and others more. dont want to talk about it. will study it once again when UT is near. =P . now 5 groups have done presenting. its 6p time! today learn more about sickle cell anaemia. lolx. its cool. yang and mookie helped me. =] thanks! . today feel so much better than yesterday, maybe its because i decided to be happy and wasnt lost anymore. buy my back is aching! and i need more sleep. [>.<] then i went looking around my friends friendster. and guess what i found! i found that my 2 written and approved testimonials for ah zhou were gone!! *crys* its gone.~ then i told him about it. and he cried. saying his 4 testimonials were gone~ =X i thought he deleted my testimonials. hahas. then i told him will write him once again today after i go home and think what i write previously. nod. nod. poor him. then i went around making my photos in friendster. wee. make it nice nice liao. so happy. *Gee* wah.tonight going to play online game with kaya and toast. lolx. only a few people will know what im talking about. lolx. *stomach grumbling* hungry now. sian. no money somemore. not going to eat after training today. =/. heard thunder just now. hopefully it wont be raining. although not going to shoot many ends but i still feel like shooting and change my form to a better form. nod. i hurt my arm. sian. want to improve my form and make it consistent! 1 bad news!! my stunt of strutting downwards and fanning is back.! bloody toot! hate it lar. so going to change it. sian. not going to update soon. feel so tired. need sleep. if not going to get scolding from someone. lolx. okie.bye!
woah! i went back to bedok yesterday thinking that there would be no programs on saturday ba. but last night they planned to go school jog then they go swim. gosh. i had to go back to school! haix. never mind.
i woke up in the morning at 6am! yes. the sky is still dark and im awake on a saturday! on a weekend. *faint*. i received a sms from yang on the psi reading. yup. then i went to school. my dad and my brother were shocked when they see me awake at such a time. i was tired though and having a little headache. maybe i had not enough sleep. nod nod. i received a sms from hwee min saying that she will be late. haix. another time of waiting. i see that i had time i went back to woodlands home and get my charger and got to the mrt there and waited for her. but she haven even left her home. she was just going to leave her home. -__-. hello...!~ im staying at bedok yet i reached earlier than those staying nearer than me. gosh. i really had no idea what to say about that liao. forget it. then i walked to school and i called yang, ah zhou and mookie. yes. yang was also just leaving his house. another 1. ah zhou still sleeping. then mookie MIA. yes. think he was sleeping ba. whatever. then got a sms from winnie saying that she reached le. then i went to look for her. a bit pissed over what happened. but whatever lar. dont care so much le. care so much for what. does anybody care whether i care so much. No, so why bother. then after hwee min came to meet us. then we were sitting at 7-11 doing nothing and we took photos.lolx. then soon i received a call from ah zhou asking us to go to the sports complex in 10 mins. haas. and he took cab down loe. so rich. lolx.! we put our bags in the store and we carried out all the bows and arrows. and we went to the training ground and jogged. after jogging we went to shoot. yes. and after that we went to causeway. the rest changed their mind about going to swim because there are only 3 people swimming. and after we eat we went back home to bath. then i went out with ah zhou, papa, yang and wan ting jie. haas. had great time back at city link and never EVER forget that 77% dark chocolate. gosh! i just took a small bite and i cant tahan anymore. i cant imagine yang, ah zhou and papa who were eating each a piece. then we went shopping for both papa and ah zhou. yeap. and ah zhou bought orange chocolate. nod nod. its damn nice. Orange Chocolate rocks!!! and the whole packet ah zhou give me. lolx. thats sweet of him. thanks ah zhou. and we went to buy the horoscope book for Cancers. lolx. we are both cancerians. thats so cool lar.! lolx.. and we were reading it along the way we walk to suntec then to Candy Empire then to Marina Square. we really had fun! we laughed all the way. and i wished to go for another outing like that.
terrible day for me. yes. this is my first worst day in my semester 2. i wonder if there is more to come. hopefully not. today is maths. yup and i was looking forward to it. we changed team today. nod nod. didnt expect us to change team. but anyway we have to change. so i dont quite bother about it. it was on code breaker. okie. hubby and hui ping say it was easy. well, i dont think its easy for me. i dont understand it quite well and im feeling sucky alright. yes. practically we were all doing on the worksheet right? haas. but do we understand.? i dont think so. we were all stuck there. nod nod. soon it was almost 2nd breakout. and we were still stucked in the worksheet with the presentation quiz. alright i dont blame them for not knowing what to do. then i went down for breakout to ask hubby about what the worksheet is about and asked her if she knew how to do the quiz anot. but in the end, she didnt know and she did not do q15. haix. nevermind. then i went back to class without eating. totally no appetite to eat when i knew i could not solve the bloody problem statement. right deep in my heart im cursing and swearing. how could these be easy! damn shit. hate it totally. and i went back to class. asked sotong and clarice to explain all the things that they found out and teach me. and back to my team, xy went to find her friend to see if her friend knew. and the other just looked at the worksheet and i had no idea what they are doing. they had no solutions to it. haix.nevermind. but im pissed at the point that why they did not asked the rest of the classmates for help?!!! i dont get it.!!!! okie..im both pissed and upset. dont they have the initiative to ask for help.? i had no idea. this is what im thinking. alright? if u guys see this, please dont bring these up. its going to so spoil all the things in class. i will be awkard or stuff. this is the place where i could really curse and swear without people really "seeing" the other side of me. im really depressed and disappointed in myself. yes. really disappointed. thought i could do well for this topic as my friend had say that it was easy. but i cant even solve it. not even say the presentation. it was all cocked up okie! all these shit just sucks to the core alright!! bloody idiot! today is totally cocked up! fuc* it man...! this is so much worse than my sem 1 class.. shit..! today is the day when i curse and fuc* it all out.! its been freaking long i had blast all my bloody feelings all out. cB..! i had no idea if this is the class that was once fun. whatever. dont care much today. fuck it all out! CB!
the second time i cried in Rp. the first time was when my budds helped mi to celebrate my birthday. yeap. it was nice to recall that. and today is the second time. and the memory sucks.F* whatever. thanks ah zhou, winnie. they make mi smile once again. they are my best budds. and of cause huiping.! my devil partner! even though she is broke, she says she would treat mi hot fudge sundae. thats sweet of her. mUacks. thanks and i appreciate that. but i think there is no need for it le ba. lolx. and of cause all the rest of my friends. they keep doing stunts and make me laugh like crazy in the library. nod nod. mookie and yang was recording "faggot's Show" in the MRT. yes. -__- talking about nonsense. making me laugh all the way. thanks. well, they wont see this anyway. lolx. just really grateful to them and of cause those people in my W15M class. they concern about me. and really sorry if i showed u bad attitude. *Bow* sorry and thanks for being my friend =] i will try not to be so stressed up. and giving attitude. haas. anyway its over. and im over it. will be smiling~~~ ^_^ haas. bye
my com is so empty! hahas. yes. i went to reformat my lappy yesterday. and now is so empty loe. i have to install alot of things. lolx. well, my lappy was sent to revive loe. and until 6pm then i got back my lappy! yes. i was so scared that it could not be revived. hahas. there was ah ben and someone called danny [i think so] haas. they really spent alot of time fixing my WLAN. lolx. really thanks them. and they are fun! haas. when i was there, they chatted with me. lolx. had fun talking with them. but hopefully i wont go there because i need to revive my lap ba. lolx. yeap yeap.
woo. the meeting was to talk about the tuning and about the trainings in future. yeap. nothing much lar. and an email was sent to us. the content is the performance when we were shooting on the selection day. yar. and we had to jog and SWIM alternate days!!! gosh. i already forgotten how to swim le. how?! i dont wish to swim! yes. its a NO NO for me. but i have to. =[
today is science module. talking about genes. nod.nod. have a basic concept of what is going on. haix. have a mixed feeling today. no idea. dont wish to care much. just hope that i could give up. slowly bit by bit. nod. dont wish to broad over it anymore. bye.
sunday. my day to rest is spoilt by my mum! yes. around 11am she woke me up to eat my breakfast cum lunch. but im tired. cant she just let me sleep more. for the sake that i went for the selection yesterday?. gosh. im awake. so forget it. and i went to brush my teeth and washed up. after eating my mum told mi to bath and get ready to go bugis. ?_? . totally blur. go to bugis for?. dotx. nevermind. i just went. and i had no idea why i went there for and why not rest at home. my upper part of the body are aching like hell. had no idea why. then we went to bugis. yes. for my handphone and my new line.! yeap! happy! wee. it looks damn cool lar. =D.
chose a new number on my own. and paid all the money on my own. my money in my bank is gone! *boo*
anyway. i dont care much. lolx. nothing happen today. just update for the sake of updating. yes. tomorrow is going to talk about paradox. if im not wrong. its almost driving me crazy cause hamster kept saying about her universe theory.! yes. anyway going to slp soon. so bye!
today is the important day of mine. yes. its archery competitive selection. im in the 4th shift. yes. in the hot afternoon. but today woke up early for no reason. alright it was not for no reason. maybe i was too tensed and could not get to sleep back again. then i woke up and my internet is not working and i could not check what time is the first shift and i sms huiping to ask her what is the first shift. and it was 9.15. gosh. i still wanted to sleep and dont wish to go there and get myself stressed up for a long time as i think i would be tired. then went there around 10 plus. if im not wrong. yup. then i sat there and wait until it was my shift. yup. looked at the rest of the competitors compete. and the third shift is the longest. gosh. make me so panicked and tensed up lar. and they are actually haveing their lunch break after the third shift and made the fourth shift wait..! gosh. they sure know how to torture mi mentally. YES. Mentally. but they ate quite fast lar. lolx. and ah zhou is the person who is going to take note of me. i forgot what is it called and spelled. so forget it. i got 40+ for the first 3 ends and 50+ for the last 3 ends. weird..! say consistent is not consistent. -__- dont know what to say.but in the end i got 285/360. im still not so satisfied that i got this score. because i expected myself to do better than this. haix. anyway. update tmr ba. need sleep today. bye!
tuesday. 10 Oct. my mum's birthday and Sarah's bdae. Happy Birthday Mum & Sarah. today is a long day. how i wish its weekends everyday. =/ . this morning i had to drag myself to school. which is so sad. im so tired yet i had to go to school and listen to the fac. but today's fac is quite alright. is so much less naggy than that wong hur wen. yes. i think his name should be that. skipped his 6p. phew. it was lucky man. today is on arts. god. a idiot who have bad sense of color match to appreciatiate drawings. you must be kidding me. but anyway i had to do it. just have to talk all the way. nod. nod. the ppt today was a lame 1. i was slacking the whole day. nothing to do and wrote my twin a testimonial. yup. i was bored to that extent. haix. was supposed to go to Sarah chalet de. but in the very end, i did not. met Jolene in Jonathan's class. yes. both of them are in the same class. heard that alot of people did not turn up. and all along Jolene was shaking her head. -__-. forget it.
was thinking of him on the way home. idiot me right. yes. quite idiotic. hate myself.
yes. hate myself alot. thinking of cutting my wrist once again.
but did not. had already kicked the habit of cutting my wrist le. hopefully i wont get it back again.
and going to shoot tmr. so cannot do stunt. so no cutting.
today. nothing much happen lar. just normally. just sick and tired of school and practically everything. yes. tired. too tired.
sunday shopping spree. yeap. went to chinatown for dian xin with my family. at yan ge. then we went to OG. yes. cause i wanted to shop. then i saw Jolene. yes. she is there working. didnt expect to see her there. lolx. but somehow remember sarah told mi that she is working there. okie. nvm. my memory is so going to die on me.
then couldnt get what i want then i went seperate ways with my family. i went other places and no idea where they went. nod nod. only know my brother went back to have a rest and would be going to work at night. yes. i went to some random places. and i almost got lost. lucky got 1 very nice aunty. lolx. yes. she asked a passer-by how to get to the mrt station. and i overheard. she was talking so loud lar. so im not eavesdropping alright? then after she knew the way. i sort of tail her. nope. i was following her. and i finally reached the mrt station. -__- yes. i admit im a darn toot road idiot. haix. wonder what am i going to do if i had the license to drive. =/ .
then i went to bugis. went to cocoa trees to buy the sweets for my mum. yes. she liked the sweets i bought for her the other time. and she kept reminding me to buy it if i walked pass or what. today im a loner. yeap. walking everywhere alone. nt contacting anyone. not sms-ing anyone. nor talking on the phone with friends. its so quiet. and somehow it gives me time to think. and i did a stupid thing. i went to the beach. yes. East Coast Park. -__-. u must be thinking im crazy right. but i just felt like going there. and i just went and walked alone. saw couples. happy families. some people walking with their dogs. they all looked so free. free of troubles. but are they feeling as what i think they are feeling?.
i wonder. once again. why do human exist. the reason for existing. why are we born this way. there are so many 'why's i wanted to ask. but who can answer me?. haix. dont bother to ask le.
i reached home. darn tired. and my dad give me face to see. whatever. i dont care much. and i went to bath and went to check on my lap. yes. left it on. and forgot to shut it off after i charged my hp. great. im so going to spoil my lap sooner or later. went online then talked to ah zhou and huiping. one asked mi to look at dollfie website. okie. at that moment i had no idea what am i doing. yes. blur freak. and ah zhou replied me. yes. he was playing games. as usual. then we talked and huiping going off soon. and im left talking to ah zhou. haix. darn sian and tired. and talked some stuff with him. lolx. we were watching the same programme and discussing over the show lar. my mum knew it and say we are crazy. -__-. whatever. i had nothing to do either. then after watching tomb raider 2. he went to play game le. and im left alone. yes. doing nothing. not nothing lar. was watching the comedy cum ghost show programmed on channel U. had no idea what is the name. but i wanted to watch it long ago. but i need to go back woodlands. was planning to stay at bedok and go to school in the early morning. but forget it. im too lazy to do that kind of stuff. so i rather go woodlands at night. when there is not much people squeezing with me.
currently watching girls bravo. yeap. borrowed it from jonathan and i had no idea when am i going to finish his manga. -__- haix. think i better finish it soon. otherwise someone is so going to haunt me. dont wish to blog le. totally no mood to blog. no idea why my mood fell. was happy talking to friends in the evening but now. whatever. dont care much. bye
yeap. im here to keep my blog alive. yes. dont wish it to have spiderwebs everywhere. nod nod. today there is training. yeap. and we were told to shoot again and see if we get to score more than 40 points. yes. i did passed the test. but it didnt meet my expectations. yes. one of them is so much difference than the rest. which means its not consistent. and it depressed mi quite a bit. im going to train tmr again. yes. and i wish to have the endurance and the strength and the consistency to train for 6 ends and each end is only 4 mins.
yes. nothing much about today. its just that someone is always doing what he wants to do and we just let him be. dont he feel helpless. all alone? haix. dont quite bother about him aniway.
haix. now im wondering why is there love in this world. does it bring us happiness or sadness. and winnie said someone said this [ love the heart that hurt u, but never hurt the heart that love u ]
yes. i love the heart belongin to some one i love.
but somehow unknowingly he is hurting me too. yes. UNknowingly. nod nod.
this is somehow depressing to feel this way.
im going to give up bit by bit. yes. slowly and bit by bit.
sometimes we have to forget. sometimes we had to give up.
even if its something that we felt its important to us.
life is unfair. since when it is. yes. life is bias.
why is it unfair? how could they treat someone so good while someone so bad.
i had been asking myself why. asking myself stupid questions again. yes. stupid questions.
but yet. who could answer my stupid questions? im currently still finding that particular person.
feeling unsecure. feeling depressed. feeling tired.
this is how i feel right now. at this moment.
but i would always have friends. friends who also have their problems of their own to be bothered but.
they still choose to help mi out. by listening to me. and that really helps mi alot. yes. i appreciate that.
and if i had offended you guys or whoever. im sorry. cause i stupid okie. i had a duno whatever brain.yes.
sometimes i cant sense the things that i had offended you. so i apologise. and really thanks. never had such wonderful friends in my life up till now. you guys really bring mi joy and laughter. yes. bring mi lots of laughter.!
and i will never forget it. never EVER. love you guys. lotx. and lotx. and lotx.
today feeling a bit emotional. yes. okie. not a bit. quite. yes. i felt tired. and i nap while the rest was dota-ing yes. but somehow the connection sucks. and unable to play a decent game. yes then soon we left. to eat dinner. yes. dinner at 9 plus. is that called dinner animore. or rather supper. yes. i supposed it would be called supper right? aniways. im so full. yes. could not stop laughing at ah zhou's wavy fringe. yes. de boing boing.~
have a fren yes. my twin. nod nod. my dear. who always called mi stupid and so on. haas. yes all of that was for jokes and laughter. i dont mind it at all. and dont mind how i look at you. just be the way you are. dont be afraid that i would not be with you if you are you. chim? haas. abit chim. cause i also dont know what m i typing. lolx. yes. aniways. i would love you as you are. so no matter wad. im always here. =] always remember that. oh great. and now she is telling me she dont look at other peps blog. woot. so much to tell her yet she cant see. wee. can say all i want.~
Give My Best Shoot Tmr! Jia You Angelynn!!
yes. its 3 oct in the early morning. its 2.16 AM right now. yup. and im right here wide awake. well not exactly not wide awake. just something is bothering me and trying to solve it. now only winnie is talking to me. yes. she is baking the brownies to bring to school LATER. yar. its her idea to bring food to school. and Great! i got nothing to bring. going to make me so paiseh. haix. yups. its after a cry that i wrote this blog. hopefully it would solve the problem by that way. im going to stop what i had been doing and start a new way to treat him. yes. going to be quite hard but im going to focus all on my studies and archery. yes. i know i had been saying that for quite few times but. hopefully this time i can do it. actually im sick and tired of Bgr. yes. abit sick and tired of it. just wanted to treat everyone equally. yes. equally. thats what im going to do. stay single. until when? i had no idea. depends ba. no wish to find out. i shall cheer up and be happy. cause life is so short yet so long. going to blog later if there is anything to blog. yes. its 8.38pm. and i had not had my dinner yet. yes. which is so great. haix. my simcard is spoilt. and i could not use it for~ no idea for how long. and now im hp-less. no idea how to contact the rest of the gang when the msn is down. so going to die lar. only choice is to go downstairs and find yude or jonathan to borrow hp to find the rest. haix. today went home quite early. cause we could not play dota. yes. and we left early without waiting for the rest because they 5 pm den start their meeting loe. dotx. nar. going to stop talking about them. today im a bit weird. no idea why weird. everione had been coming up to me and ask mi am i okie. hm. i had no idea whether i should sae im fine or what. contradicting myself. yups. okie. fine. got nothing much to talk about so forget it. bye.
sunday. 1st of Oct. yes. im slacking at home. nothing to do. yesterday went to city hall with huiping, winnie, ah zhou. and guess what? im too early. -__-. yes. half an hour early. haas. then talk on the phone with ah zhou and huiping. while waiting for them to come. and ah zhou was still at home. waiting for his lunch?. lolx. nvm. then after went to funan to get huiping's hubby fixed. we went to eat ajisen.! gosh. im so freaking hungry!. so we went to eat. after eating im so full loe. then we went to orchard to meet ah zhou. yes. we did something lame. lolx. only 4 of us will know what happen. -__-. cant believe i did dat. dotx. went to get winnie's watch fixed and we slacked around to wait for the watch to get fixed. haas. and we went back to funan. then to suntec. then to esplanade. yes. we went there to drink again. but this time is with winnie too. haix. later going to bugis. yes. back at woodlands le. walk through bugis. pei bro walk the sim lim to buy their game. -__-. dotx lar. but nevermind. dinner time they treat mi eat fish & co. wee. its nice. lolx. my bro ate alot of garlic. dotx. his mouth stinks when talking to me even after eating the sweet provided. he got to use listerine.! all the way back to bedok hes laughing how his mouth stinks. dotx. yar. and i was laughing too. lolx. cause he was practically making mi laugh. hahas. then i went back home. yeap. my parents came back from genting le. nod nod. she bought mi a shirt. but did not bought mi the pants! ar..! never mind. i got 1 le. doesnt matter much. then went to woodlands. because tmr there is school. yeah. the geek is the facilitator.! and i dont like him. talk until so chim. no idea what he is talking about either. ah. darn tired. going to sleep soon le.bye
