had a weird dream
really really weird
wonder if it would happen in real life
or i am just thinking too much
shit,I'm thinking again >.<
was wondering why i still holding on
no answers were given
guts told me to forget it
but feelings are unable to forget it
I'm in a dilemma, what should i do?
dont wish to admit it
but unable to deny it
T_T
why am i so indecisive?
why do i have to be like that?
why am i so unsure of what i feel and what i do?
WHY?!
sigh sigh sigh
why do i bother much about when u dont give a damn care for me sometimes
asking myself why!!!
WHY!?!!
want to die liao~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
how do i feel right now?
no idea how i feel right now
it seems that i lost a friend
but it doesn't seems that i had lost a friend
what is this?
is this just temporary?
or permanent?
my mind is full of questions
but no 1 could give me the answers
or rather no 1 had those answers
do GOD hate us that much to make us suffer?
does us suffering makes us grow up?
if so, can we don't grow up?
i don't wish to grow up
not because i don't want to suffer
its because i don't wish to change things
don't want to change anything anymore!!!
I'm frustrated, upset
but what can I do?
a day passed, another day come
i just had to tell myself that another day had come
its another day to smile
smile for others
smile for myself
smile for anyone who needs it
[ will things change? i wonder ]
[ *luckier than stars* do u rem? ]
When you're Gone
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
is made up on your side
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
[When You're Gone lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And when you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
Yeah Yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me
Yeah
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
this song is nice~
esp this part..
"The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it OK"
is it my fault?
am i the 1 that cause you to suffer so much right now?
i felt a change in your attitude towards me
i know I'm not being sensitive
its true, i am not thinking too much
what is going on?!
i hate this feeling! *crys*
i want everything back as normal
without "that"
but is it possible?
or am i too greedy?
just thinking about myself
your attitude towards me just makes me feel suck
you say your alright
ask yourself if your alright, what are you running away for?
haix
i dont know what to do anymore
just be myself?
can i be myself when your not there?
your my friend, my bestest friend
the friend that is like my family, i dont wish to lose this friend
understand?
nvm
just a selfish thought of mine
[my wrong doings causes me to end up like this]
does it matter if i'm there?
no confidence that we will stay the same
it seems that one fine day we will be strangers to each other
sometimes looking at the 3 of you just makes me think that you 3 shared the same world
the world had boundaries
boundaries that people cant entered
which includes me
i dont wished to be hate
i dont wished to be left alone
but there are times that things happen to just leave me to be alone for a moment
leaving for a moment is just a way for me to escape reality for a while
for me to pick up the feelings and courage to conquer this 'reality'
this just causing me not to be myself
but another person who hides their real feelings from others
once i had started to do these kind of things
everything would be in my bottle
no one have the energy or the strength to open up the cap of the bottle
what should I do?
dont say the things that you never meant to say*
wHooOpPpeee!!~
competition is finally over!
happy and sad at the same time
sad that im unable to do what i promised
that is to win a medal for the seniors
as this indoor com will be the last com for most of the seniors
and also to prove myself that all those efforts that i made is worth it
but somehow i dint do that
i panicked throughout the round 1
which is so terrible that i cant believe what i am doing
it feels like its the first time that im shooting
i dont know how to anchor, hold and pull anymore
it just feel so strange
after the break, i know that i dont have chance to get a medal
i lost the chance for this com
failed to prove myself to the rest
people said i had improved alot
so i supposed that im too rush to prove myself thats why i had such disappointment
and i started to lose confidence in myself
我会为了忘你而恨你吗？
i hope that i wont hate you just to forget you
please forgive me if sometimes i dont bother much about you
rather pretend that i could not hear you
i had no idea if i had anymore feelings for you
it had become a mystery to myself too
thoughts coming through but i cant seem to tell any1
its like i wanted to say out but i had no voice
and when i had voice there is no 1 there to listen
it just fades away
no longer important nor urgent
theres quite abit of things on my mind
not ready to tell anyone
nor had any idea want to tell any1
cant bring myself to do that
haix
mind is in a whirl
pour me with your care and concern
its enough for just that ^^
thanks a lot too
hello~~
long time dint update my blog le
going to be full of spider webs and dust
these few days had been training and training for the upcoming competition
quite stressed and alittle upset throughout the process
cause the results werent what i expected
but i did put in my efforts, and i believed in myself
as well as those people who had helped me throughout when i'm training
they were helping me spot the mistakes and corrected me
and they were training with me as well
all of us just jia you!! let our efforts paid off!!
its time to show others where had all our efforts had gone and what we had been through
well, not only the training is affecting me
other factors are affecting me too
my life, friends, family and my study life
had been worrying all these
i had found a way to overcome some of the problems
that is to forget what had happened tonight
tomorrow will be a brand new day
a new day to let me start once again
i had always given a chance to start anew
so why keep on hanging on to the past bad memories
it just makes me suffer
and makes me unhappy, sad, discontented, unmotivated
so why not choose a better way to make myself motivated, happier, more contented with what i have right now?
found a website or rather blog
quite interesting, each blog is worth taken a look
u might find it enlightening, but u also might find it nonsensical, boring or stuff
its just your point of view
http://kthdsn.com/blog/what-makes-us-happy
http://kthdsn.com/blog/how-surroundings-affect-mood
i shall start looking ahead
start smiling
as frowning doesnt help anything at all
